I have always known I am capable of
great things and I have finally had the breakthrough of a lifetime.
To increase my wealth and eventually become the richest person on the
Earth, in an effort to clean dirty air, water and land I claim
ownership of AIR!!!
My terms of use are simple and not very
complex. If you want to breathe you must pay a reasonable fee of $3
per hour for as long as you want and for that hour you are welcome to
inhale and exhale as many times as you can. Everyone on the planet,
who is alive, and seeks access to air, call my people and they will
draw up a contract. However, there is one person who I feel I just
cannot do business with. Party Majority Leader in the U. S. House of
Representatives Eric Cantor will have to find his own source of air
which will be neigh impossible since I own it all.
If Monsanto wishes for pollen from its
Genetically Modified Organisims to be carried aloft then they will
have to contact my people and negotiate a fair price of say, $10 per
grain of pollen. Otherwise they must move swiftly to eradicate all of
their "Franken Crops" across the globe.
Polluters? You are not exempt from this
rule. Cough up the cash or close your doors. It's that simple.
Automobile manufacturers would pay a sliding scale price based on my
mood for that day. For example the number of cars that rolled of the
assembly line times 100 equals beaucoup bucks. Muwhaha,
muwhaHA, MUWHAHA! Hopefully they will then find the impetus to
switch fully their line of vehicles over to hydrogen or electric.
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